Mel Gibson has made a fortune playing angry, emotionally unbalanced characters (see Lethal Weapon, The Man Without a Face, Payback, Conspiracy Theory, etc) and now it seems he may be one in real life. Method Acting?

Taped telephone calls between baby mama Oksana Grigorieva and (allegedly – I’m only writing that once, folks…) Mel Gibson demonstrate Gibson as a misogynistic, racist, violent, warped individual who may or may not eventually kill her. Hyperbole? Not so much – direct quote from one conversation: “I’ll put you in a f***ing rose garden.” Crystal clear.

What happened to Mel? I will admit, I was a die-hard fan. At one time I owned all his films, with Braveheart being my favourite of all-time. We all know he hit a rough patch a few years ago, after his long-controlled drinking problem reared its ugly head. We saw the photos, read the eye-witness account, and all remember where we were the first time we heard the phrase, “Sugartits.” He fell off the wagon, clearly; driving recklessly, sexually harassing female police officers, and ranting about Jews … not a pretty picture. He admitted he had a problem, stepped out of the limelight for a while, and a few snickers here and there aside, it went away.

 Now, here we are, again – only this time, it’s worse. We already knew he was an alcoholic, but who knew he was also violent and sadistic? Anyone who has heard the tapes (I’ve heard all that have been released so far) has heard vile, disgusting, unbelievable things come out of this man’s mouth. Some excerpts:

• “You look like a f***ing b**** in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n*****s it’ll be your fault, ok?”
• “Shut the f*** up! You should just f***ing smile and blow me because I deserve it!”
• “I don’t need medication! You need a f***ing bat to the side of the head, alright? How about that?”
• “I’ll put you in a f***ing rose garden you c***. You understand that? Because I’m capable of it.”
• “Go look after my child, you c*** whore. I hope she doesn’t end up like you.”
• “What are you talking about you f***ing ignorant b****? I don’t understand you. You’re saying stupid s***.”
• “I need a woman, not a f***ing little girl with a f***ing dysfunctional c***.”

Context, schmontext. I heard all the released tapes, and if you haven’t, let me reassure you: they are mainly him just screaming like a lunatic, rambling on and on, and breathing heavily like a perv. One does not need to be a psychiatrist to see that Mel Gibson is not only a jerk and a racist, but also a misogynist who may or may not be completely deranged.

Of course their relationship had problems. I’m sure some of the problems were caused by Oksana – after all, she’s human. I also have a sneaking suspicion she might be something of a gold digger. Even if that’s true – even if she trapped him by having his child (and I don’t know if she did, it’s just an idea), his comments to her are so far out of line she’s probably sleeping with one eye open.

The world (more or less) forgave Mel the last time he went on a tangent, but I have a feeling this time he’ll be on his own. And of course, should anything unfortunately happen to Oksana now, we all know who would be the prime suspect.

Why am I writing about this? A few reasons: Appearances are deceiving. Simply because a couple seems happy (as suggested by earlier interviews/photos) doesn’t mean they are. Simply because a person doesn’t seem capable of extreme anger and/or violence, doesn’t mean they aren’t. Celebrities should not be treated any different than the regular folks – for the words alone, he deserves to be locked up. (Last time I checked, uttering death threats is against the law!) For the sake of the child, who of course is the most innocent player in this unfortunate drama, Mel Gibson needs help – serious, actual help.

Oksana, run for your life. And the life of your child.

I grew up in a house that was quite open when it came to talking about sex. It’s not like we sat around all the time discussing it, but my parents seemed to be of the belief that a little extra information is better than the wrong information. Other girls I knew had parents who were a little more strict about how much information they received; yep, they were the ones who got pregnant. Score one for abstinence education!

Tomorrow night, our Girl Guide unit is doing the “Becoming a Teen Badge,” which is everything you’re imagining it is, plus a few extras. The badge focuses on learning about exercise, healthy eating, hygiene, and yes, puberty. Keeping in mind that Girl Guides is girls only, and the girls are 9-11 years old, most of the evening will likely be spent talking about boys and periods. No worries, no danger zones. Just to be sure though, we sent home a notice ahead of time with the parents, being clear to outline what we would be talking about, and that the parents should keep their daughters home if they had any concerns. As far as I know, only one parent has called. She said her daughter was allowed to attend the meeting, as long as we weren’t going to talk about SEX. Therein lies the problem.

Talks about boys, menstruation and body changes generally end up being talks about sex. Girls get concerned about the changes in their bodies; having periods means they they are physically able to get pregnant, after all. And really, what better environment to have these kind of talks than an all-girl, parent-free environment? The girls are comfortable talking to us; they would rather come to us than their parents, and we all know that schools don’t do the best job. So really, what other options do the girls have? Learning incorrect information on the playground?

The fact is, girls are starting puberty much earlier than they used to, and socially they are more aware of sex (both mentally and physically) younger than they used to be as well. So we, as adult members of society, have a choice: ignore the fact that these girls need the information before they need it, or help them take care of their unplanned babies and undesired STDs later, after they’ve been douching with Coca-Cola and jumping up and down afterward.

Returning to the issue of tomorrow night: To respect the mother’s wishes, we aren’t going to be talking directly, blatantly about sex. Girls with questions about sex will be invited to speak privately to the leaders. Because I have a responsibility to the unit I will do what the mother has asked; however, I disagree with her view. Her daughter may be only 10 years old, but she is probably much more aware of sex than her mother realizes. Keeping the lines of communication open (about everything, not just sex) is what will save this girl as she grows up, not keeping her naive and ultimately ignorant.

Whether we like it or not, kids today are growing up faster than we ever did. We all need to be prepared to deal with it, head-on. Talking about sexual health and safe sex does not give kids permission to have sex; it gives them the tools to do it safely. Kids have always had sex; let’s try to keep them safe.

Ah, spring is in the air! The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and I’m cleaning my house. I love spring cleaning; actually, I love regular cleaning! But spring cleaning is different; it has a potential all of its own. With spring cleaning comes spring parties, spring garden, and spring itself. Spring cleaning signifies the end of winter; we wash the grime from the windows and say goodbye to Jack Frost until next year.

If this is your first year doing your own spring cleaning, you may be overwhelmed. Or, perhaps you’ve always done spring cleaning but are looking for a better way. Either way, allow me to simplify what I consider to be the guidelines for easy, productive, and painless spring cleaning.

Go Room-by-Room, Not Job-by-Job: Some people will say, “Today I’m going to wash all the floors,” or “This afternoon I will wash all the light fixtures.” This is not a terrible way to do it, but let me offer a different approach. Choose a room, and focus. For example, the first room I cleaned was my office. I pulled out all the furniture, washed the baseboards, dusted the walls, cleaned the desk, windexed the picture frames, cleaned the light fixtures, wiped down the window sills, and so forth. At the end of the morning, the entire office (minus the windows, which I’ll explain further) was spring-ready. Why did I do it this way? Focusing on one room, rather than one job that is spread around the house, is a lot easier to manage. Thinking about a whole house can be overwhelming. Pick a room, and get to it.

Have a Plan: Don’t start if you don’t have time to finish. Don’t decide to pull out all the bedroom furniture and break out your cleaning supplies if you have only a short time. Either you will run out of time and not finish, or you will do a half-hearted job and be disappointed in the results. Before you start, take a look: what needs to be done, specifically? Each room may have its own special rough spots and special needs; identify them and formulate a plan. The less time you’re spending doubling back and climbing over things, the less time you’re going to waste, and the less time it’s going to take you to finish.

Check Products Before Beginning: Do you have the cleaning products you need? Something for the windows? Something for the floors? Mr. Clean Magic Eraser? Most people have their own favourite supplies; check your stash before you start. Having to stop halfway through a job is irritating; make sure you have what you need before you get started.

Have a (Reasonable) End Date in Mind: When do you want the house spring-ready? Giving yourself an end date is a way to keep a lid on your cleaning. It’s easy to get started; sometimes getting finished is the tough part. For example, I want the upstairs fully spring-cleaned by the end of April. If it doesn’t happen it won’t be a catastrophe, but it’s always good to have a goal. Don’t let your cleaning drag on half-finished, or you will get overwhelmed.

If Possible, Engage the Whole Family: If you have a family, why not engage them in the cleaning process? Little ones should work primarily in their bedrooms; it’s their space, let them be responsible for it. Depending on their ages, they can dust, vacuum, clean mirrors, purge closets, etc. Get creative! Partners should absolutely be working too; spring cleaning is a big job, and should be shared between partners. It’s easier to work when someone else is working too; put on the good music and get moving!

Spring Cleaning Means Outdoors, Too: So your house is done, hurray! Break out the bubbly? Not yet! Now it’s time to get outdoors, if you haven’t already been doing so. Driveways and patios need to be power washed; windows need scrubbing. The garden needs to be turned over, trees may need triming. Once the patio is clean, bring out the furniture; wipe it down and get it out there!

Bottom Line: It doesn’t have to be painful, but it does have to be done. Get organized and go for it!

When we think about “bad neighbors,” we usually think about people who throw wild parties every night, cause domestic disturbances, and create neighborhood scuffles and fights. I’m not saying that’s not true, but I’m saying we’re overlooking something: messy neighbors.

Maybe your neighbors are kind. They smile, wave, or make small talk. Maybe they collect your mail for you when you’re on holidays and exchange cookie plates with you at Christmas. Maybe they’re the nicest, most pleasant neighbors you’ve ever had in  your life. But if their yard (back OR front, or both) is a disaster, they’re still bad neighbors. Don’t believe me? Try to sell your house. Your neighbor’s messy home devalues your own, even if your home and property are well-maintained.

Even if you aren’t trying to sell your home, your neighbor’s hovel makes it hard to enjoy what you’ve worked hard to attain. It doesn’t matter how much time you spend working on your garden, painting your fence, or carefully edging your grass; if your neighbor’s yard is cluttered with rusty furniture, unkempt grass, and strewn with random household items, it will limit the enjoyment you get out of your space. If the view of your yard from your window includes your neighbor’s junk pile, rotted garden shed, and last year’s junk pile, you will spend less time enjoying that view.

I know of some exclusive communities where outdoor house décor must fall within certain codes; styles, colors, etc. I’m not saying we ought to live in that kind of world; after all, we aren’t living in a police state. However, as someone who works hard maintaining their property, it is very disheartening when those around you do not take the same care. In fact, “disheartening” is an understatement; it’s enraging. I like my neighbors, “Mr. and Mrs. Jones” – they’re nice people, and we get along well. However, they own three large dogs; in the winter, said dogs use their backyard as a toilet, which isn’t maintained. In the winter, the snow hides this disgusting mess, but spring is a different story. Yes, they always clean it up (eventually) but never before spring has started; I’m always having to garden with the smell of dog poo wafting over my shoulder.

Sure, we own our properties and we have the right do with them what we like. I understand that; I wouldn’t want someone else telling me what shape to trim my hedges. However, if I outright refused to trim the hedges and had a wild forest growing on the lawn, the neighbors would have every right to feel upset. I’m not sure what happened to community pride, but these days I’m hearing a lot more about people’s messy neighbors, and the struggle to deal. It’s extra-hard when you like your neighbors; you don’t want to start a war. But we should, as homeowners, have a sense of responsibility about our property; it’s not just about ourselves, but about other people.

Spring is coming – it’s time to head outside. Do your neighbors a favor and tidy up. Pick up the garbage, sweep the driveway, mow and edge your lawn. If you have a garden, keep it maintained. Pull your dandelions. Pick up the lawn toys. Clean or replace the lawn furniture. Make repairs as needed. Look at your house from an outsider’s perspective; would you want to look at your home? I like Mr. and Mrs. Jones, but if they take a month again this year to de-turd their yard, we’re going to have to have (kind, gentle, firm) words about it.

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Ok Toronto, I hear you: you hate the TTC. I understand; I too am a TTC-rider. Delayed trains, haphazardly-followed schedules, mechanical problems, fare hikes, napping employees … TTC is not always The Better Way. Slower, more frustrating way perhaps.

That said, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes while rading the article in today’s Toronto Star about Lara Brown, the pregnant TTC rider who was mugged of her BlackBerry en route to work Sunday morning. Lara’s BlackBerry was taken by a group of “rowdy 20-somethings” on the southbound train; the rowdy group exited the train at St. Clair West. Here’s where the story gets interesting. Quoting the Toronto Star: “Because she’s pregnant and a mother of a 2-year old, Brown, scared and shocked, just continued to work. Once there, she called her husband and told him what happened.”

Hmm. Ok. Continuing the Star article: “Brown believes TTC Special Constables and the Toronto Police should be more vigilant in patrolling the subway and educating people about what to do should their phones or iPods be stolen. She said the TTC should tell people that if you’re a female and travelling by yourself be careful and vigilant.” The Star article also included a quote from Brown herself, who was moved t write to Adam Giambrone about the incident: “I’m very angry (Giambrone) wants to run for mayor and do good things for Toronto.”

Wow. Let’s take a look at the story here, piece by piece, and see exactly what’s wrong with it. 

1. “Because she’s pregnant and a mother of a 2-year-old, Brown, scared and shocked, just continued to work. Once there, she called her husband and told him what happened.” Get on a subway. Look above the windows, on the inside of the subway car. You will see a BRIGHT YELLOW HAZARD STRIP. It is to be used for passenger safety issues, vandalism, illness, and other emergencies. It’s there to help passengers in a variety of situations. Press the strip! If Brown herself was unable to press it, someone else in the car could have, assuming her car was not empty. She could also have pressed it after the goons got off at St. Clair West. She could also have gotten off the subway at the next stop and spoken with the employee driving her subway, or any of the employees working in the station.
2. Calling your spouse instead of the police – don’t crack on the police not being vigilant in protecting citizens if you’re not going to call them when something happens. By the time she got to work, called her husband, and then her husband called the police, the chances of the police finding any of these thugs greatly diminished. Toronto Police are extremely helpful and effective in their roles, when they are permitted to do their jobs. Want the police to help you? Call them – they’re not telepathic. 
3. In addition, she wants the police to be more vigilant about patrolling stations. There are more than 65 stations in Toronto! Does she want to take police officers off our streets so they can mosey around TTC stations? I agree that perhaps during peak times, at stations shown to statistically have higher incidents of crime, police presence might be a good idea, but overall, it’s not a reasonable idea. TTC Special Constables maybe, but not police officers. They have enough going on in our Thug Haven of a city, without adding TTC stations to their beats. (However, if you CALL them, I’m sure they’ll be happy to help you.) 
4. Brown claims people need to be educated about what to do when mugged. Really? She wants the City to spend money on an education program, to tell people that if you get mugged, you need to call the police? Please lady, give the people in this city some credit. I’m sure what you went through was traumatic and scary, but to be honest, this isn’t something the City needs to be spending money on. For most people, calling the police after a crime has taken place is an automatic reaction. Let’s save the money (that we don’t have) for something else. 
5. “The TTC should tell people that if you’re female and travelling by yourself, be vigilant and careful.” Really? Again, this falls into the “obvious” category. Women have always been told to be careful. The TTC offers Request Stop for women bus riders during evening hours, in an effort to help them get home safely. Women are often the target of violence because they tend to be smaller; they are generally easier to manipulate. I guarantee you that no woman who read this story read this quote and said, “Holy cow! I didn’t know that women need to be careful! There should posters!” EVERYONE should be careful, anyway; men get mugged too, though perhaps not as often.  
6. Adam Giambrone…. Ok, let’s talk about Mr. Giambrone. He’s the TTC Guy, and generally I would say that since he wanted the job, he needs to look after the problems. However, Mr. Giambrone is NOT personally responsible because a group of morons caused a problem on a subway train. Was he there when it happened? Did he sit across the aisle from her and watch her get mugged? Somehow I doubt it. What would she like him to do? Put up signs, “Please don’t be rude and steal from people on the subway trains!” Come on. Blame him for some of the business problems, sure – but this is not his fault. Also, Mr. Giambrone has NOT declared intentions as of yet to run for Mayor of Toronto, just to point that out.  

Bottom Line: What happened to Lara Brown on the subway was too bad. I do genuinely feel sorry for her. No one should have to put up with this kind of behaviour; no one has the right to take your stuff. I think we’re all in agreement there. However, for her to lash out and criticise the TTC, Toronto Police, and Adam Giambrone for what was not their fault, ignores that she herself did not handle the situation very well. Be careful when you travel. If someone is creating a problem, use the hazard strip on the train. Speak to the employee driving the train. Speak to an employee at the next station. CALL THE POLICE. Use common sense.