Express Yourself

My parents brought me up with many values, but who stick out in my mind the most: there’s no need to be rude to people, and treat other people the way you’d like to be treated. I grew up learning to be polite (not to be confused with being a doormat; I stick up for myself but I’m not rude about it) and being mindful of the feelings of others. It wasn’t always easy, but it taught me about manners, empathy, and thinking before you speak. Nothing complicated there.

These days, however, I find myself constantly bombarded with people’s ill-manners and inability to be decent human beings. The receptionist at my doctor’s office, Lucy*, is an example of this. Background information: I have been going to the same doctor for 10 years, and Lucy has always seemed to have it in for me. I go for B12 injections every two weeks – no appointment necessary, just walk in and wait; the doctor does shots between patients. I always call ahead to make sure it’s an ok time, after one time I showed up while she was doing an annual physical and I wanted over 30 minutes. Here’s the phone conversation I had with Lucy today:

Lucy: Doctor’s office.

Me: Hi, I was wondering if Doctor Awesome was in today? I’d like to come get my shot.

Lucy: Doctor Awesome is always in on Wednesdays.

Me: *pause* Ok, well is she in the middle of a bunch of long appointments or is it an ok time to come? If she’s busy I’ll come another day instead.

Lucy: She’s always busy – you should know that by now.

Me: *pause* Er – ok. Thank you.

Lucy: *click*

Wow. I felt like I’d been slapped in the face, over the phone, for no real reason. Yes, maybe Lucy was busy, and annoyed that I’d asked her what I did. News flash: If you don’t want to answer questions, don’t work in reception.

I used to work reception too, and I Had my fair share (and then some) of tough customers. However, I was getting paid to deal with them in a professional manner, so I smiled (even when answering the phone – they can hear it in your voice) and treated everyone with respect, no matter what the question or problem. The only time I was ever even slightly rude to a caller whas when a woman unleashed a screaming string of profanity at me because the person she needed tot alk to was out of the office. I simply told her that I wasn’t able to help her due to her verbal assault, and invited her to call back when she was feeling calm, and hung up. I didn’t call her names, get in an argument, or treat her badly.

I’m not just picking on receptionists, though; Lucy and her perpetual attitude are just an example. We’ve come to live in a “me-me-me” society, where people are unable or unwilling to take a moment to look around them, maybe notice that other people exist too. They push their way onto the subway, or through the doors at the mall. They order using “I want” instead of “may I have” in restaurants, and don’t say “thank you” when the food arrives. They talk loudly on their cell phones in waiting rooms, movie theatres and line-ups at the store. They swear freely for all to hear. They bump and grab and shove and interrupt and walk with blinders on. They overtake the elderly on the escalators, not apologising when they hit them with their backpacks. They walk around with blinders on their eyes and a sense of entitlement written on their smirky faces.

I’m sick of it; it’s time for changes! Try to spread some joy and friendliness to those around you. Sharing an elevator with a stranger? Wish them a good day as you get off, or make a small comment about the weather. Hold the door open for the person behind you; hopefully they will say “thank you,” and you can then say “you’re welcome.” Smile when you talk with people, whether a coworkers, a client, or your morning barista. We spread hatred so easily; let’s try happiness instead.

To those who are guilty of rude behaviours: I feel sorry for you, that your life is so boring/depressing/empty/disappointing that you have to take it out on those around you. I think it’s very sad that you either can’t or won’t take a moment to be polite; do you really think you’re that important? Treat others as you’d like to be treated in return: with dignity, respect, and grace. There’s no need to be rude.

The best part of “Adventureland” is the sound track. Ouch? Ok, maybe that was cold, but it was accurate. “Adventureland,” which seemed to promise a hip, indie-style summer romance movie, delivered nothing but awkwardly-delivered lines, irritating actors, and ok, I’ll admit it, a smoking hot (but sadly underused) Ryan Reynolds.

First up, let me say this to Perez Hilton: You have been RIGHT the entire time about Kristen Stewart. I’ll admit, I used to think your hatred of her was about R-Patz, but now that I’ve actually seen her “act” on film, I am wholeheartedly in agreement. I can’t believe I wasted 107 minutes watching Kristen Stewart, sulk, bite her lip, pull the hair back from her face, and deliver  unaffected, painful lines. Blech.

Second: Jesse Eisenberg. Ok, you’re awkward, virginal, smart, not good around women…  unfortunately for you, we already have a Michael Cera, and he’s awesome. It’s probably not your fault, but nonetheless, watching you was a little bit painful. I could see you have talent, and you could have been enjoyable to watch, had you not taken the easy way out and gone for the ultra-nerdy, stumbling virgin. Had you scaled it back a bit, it would have been so much better, and less a comparison between you and Michael Cera. (For what it’s worth, I liked you in “The Squid and the Whale,” very good.)

Third: Ryan Reynolds, Billy Hader, Kristen Wiig: Talented, funny, drastically underused actors. Less Kristen Stewart, more of these three, would have resulted in a much, much better film. Ryan’s dirty, sexy scumbag, Billy’s creepy, over-excited manager, and Kristen’s strange, hooked-on-Billy-but-God-knows-why wife routine were all far more entertaining than the stilted, undramatic, physically painful performances between Kristen Stewart and Jessie Eisenberg.

One last note: Matt Bush’s hyperactive, possibly-but-maybe-not-gay, annoying either way character should have been written out in entirety. He is NOT funny. On the other hand, the character of Joel, played by Martin Starr, could have been developed a lot further, as the character was interesting and was well-portrayed.

In conclusion: if you haven’t seen this yet, don’t waste your time. Aside from the “supporting characters” (who really should have been the main characters, as they were much better), there is nothing worth seeing here. Kudos, however, to whoever selected the songs for the soundtrack. Killer choices. Songs like “Here I Go Again” and “Satellite of Love” at least gave my ears something to do.

Having almost completed a degree in psychology, I understand enough about the human mind to know that even an individual doesn’t undesrstand why he thinks the way he does. Most people, however, do not have university degrees in psychology, and therefore are unlikely to understand anything in depth about the way we think. The way we think… I guess that’s what my series of articles is going to be about. I am interested in exploring and challenging a lot of pre-conceptions that we as a society hold. I am on a personal mission to understand what we do, and why we do it.

I want to begin my series of articles on our world by discussing different structures of thought. From my own personal experience, I find that most philosophical arguments between laymen (myself included) result from different worldviews, specifically idealism and realism. To define my terms, Google defines realism as “the attribute of accepting the facts of life and favoring practicality and literal truth” and idealism as “impracticality by virtue of thinking of things in their ideal form rather than as they really are”.

By these definitions, it sounds like idealism is simply day dreaming and worthless. Why would we think about life as ideal when we know that we will probably never achieve it? We should focus on improving life in realistic ways. In other words, we can’t go from what is real, to what is ideal, practically… or realistically. The reason why we need idealism is to know in which direction to make realistic improvements. How would we know how good things could be, if we don’t think of them idealistically? It is therefore necessary to have a balance of both.

So, how do these two philosophies affect our perception of day-to-day experience? My uncle, a man I deeply respect, is most definitely a realist. He is a strong believer in taking power away from government and putting it back in the hands of citizens. He understands that governments are not perfect and are not always looking out for all their citizens and therefore should have less power. I, on the other hand, believe in giving more power to governments. I think that a controlling body should govern people and we should lose some of our personal freedoms and entrust them to the government. But then again, I don’t know any idealists that would realistically make that suggestion.

Regardless, when you read my following articles, keep this in mind. I will make sure to clarify if I am approaching something from a realistic or an idealistic perspective. Most of the time, it will be idealistic… what can I say, I’m a dreamer.