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November 13, 2009

Cohabitation and Relationship – Part Three: Frat House or Comfy Quiet?

Now that you have moved in together and found a common ground to decorate your house – how are you going to treat your home? Again, it’s about compromise. One of you may be used to having people over all the time, like a social club with a revolving door, while the other may be used to a more quiet setting, with lots of down time and relaxing time. One of you wants to read, the other wants to have 20 people over for a last-minute party; tough situation!  How do you work that out?

Find time to fit in both, so it doesn’t inconvenience the other person too much. For example, maybe Friday nights you’ll stay in together (watch a movie, quiet dinner, etc) and Saturday nights you’ll stay in and have people over, or go out with friends. It’s good to spend some quiet time (we all need to recharge our batteries) but it’s not good to become hermits, or even worse, become “those people!” We all know “those people,” the ones who get into serious (cohabitational) relationships (or marriages!) and suddenly see only each other.

What did we do? We are both pretty busy during the week with school, work, work for school, so evenings during the week tend to be on the quiet side, with me reading while he plays Xbox. It works for us! Besides, 3 evenings I week I don’t even finish work until 7:30 or 8:00, after which it’s time for dinner; that’s another reason we have quieter eveings, they’re a little short! On the weekends we take time to socialize, because it’s less stressful to schedule. That’s not to say you can’t have people over during the week (because we do), but the bigger crowds are not usually during the week; it’s a better balance for us. They also tend to be earlier evenings, as my BF gets up very early to head to work in the morning. This is important to keep in mind, especially if one of you is a person who really requires their 8 hours of sleep.

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