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February 20, 2010

Adventureland: Where’s the Adventure?

The best part of “Adventureland” is the sound track. Ouch? Ok, maybe that was cold, but it was accurate. “Adventureland,” which seemed to promise a hip, indie-style summer romance movie, delivered nothing but awkwardly-delivered lines, irritating actors, and ok, I’ll admit it, a smoking hot (but sadly underused) Ryan Reynolds.

First up, let me say this to Perez Hilton: You have been RIGHT the entire time about Kristen Stewart. I’ll admit, I used to think your hatred of her was about R-Patz, but now that I’ve actually seen her “act” on film, I am wholeheartedly in agreement. I can’t believe I wasted 107 minutes watching Kristen Stewart, sulk, bite her lip, pull the hair back from her face, and deliver  unaffected, painful lines. Blech.

Second: Jesse Eisenberg. Ok, you’re awkward, virginal, smart, not good around women…  unfortunately for you, we already have a Michael Cera, and he’s awesome. It’s probably not your fault, but nonetheless, watching you was a little bit painful. I could see you have talent, and you could have been enjoyable to watch, had you not taken the easy way out and gone for the ultra-nerdy, stumbling virgin. Had you scaled it back a bit, it would have been so much better, and less a comparison between you and Michael Cera. (For what it’s worth, I liked you in “The Squid and the Whale,” very good.)

Third: Ryan Reynolds, Billy Hader, Kristen Wiig: Talented, funny, drastically underused actors. Less Kristen Stewart, more of these three, would have resulted in a much, much better film. Ryan’s dirty, sexy scumbag, Billy’s creepy, over-excited manager, and Kristen’s strange, hooked-on-Billy-but-God-knows-why wife routine were all far more entertaining than the stilted, undramatic, physically painful performances between Kristen Stewart and Jessie Eisenberg.

One last note: Matt Bush’s hyperactive, possibly-but-maybe-not-gay, annoying either way character should have been written out in entirety. He is NOT funny. On the other hand, the character of Joel, played by Martin Starr, could have been developed a lot further, as the character was interesting and was well-portrayed.

In conclusion: if you haven’t seen this yet, don’t waste your time. Aside from the “supporting characters” (who really should have been the main characters, as they were much better), there is nothing worth seeing here. Kudos, however, to whoever selected the songs for the soundtrack. Killer choices. Songs like “Here I Go Again” and “Satellite of Love” at least gave my ears something to do.

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