Express Yourself

The image of a 150lb four year old on the Dr. Phil show in February 2006 shocked millions of viewers across North America. It brought attention to the growing epidemic of childhood obesity. The most controversial element of the show, however, was the suggestion that custodial parents of these children were guilty of a new and very different form of child abuse.

According to Stats Canada, 26% of 2-17 year olds were overweight or obese in 2004. Not only do obese children develop numerous health problems, they also suffer from low self-esteem and social prejudice. As more of Canada’s children are getting fatter, we must question who is responsible. Ultimately, what can be done to reverse this damaging trend?

The experts on this subject are divided in their opinions about the cause of obesity. Many argue that weight gain is an effect of genetic makeup and hormones, and the only way to control it is through medication, or more drastically – surgery. The opposition insists it is controllable environmental and lifestyle factors; that the medical industry is essentially trying to kill the proverbial birds with one stone. By excusing us from responsibility, we turn to miracle drugs or gastric bypass, and they continue to make millions of dollars.

Our need to be so politically correct has caused society to become too accepting of conditions that are doing physical and emotional harm.

The fact that more than 40% of commercials on television directed at young children are candy, snacks, and fast food, tells us there is a huge market out there for these unhealthy products. Parents are buying this food for their children and ignoring the obvious impact poor diet is having.  But the reality is we are an educated society well aware of the links between diet and health. For parents to claim ignorance is irresponsible.  Too many parents use food as a reward or bribe for good behavior – not surprising given our society’s inclination towards instant gratification.

Also at the heart of this debate is the fact that many children are just too inactive! Excess weight gain in children is the result of poor dietary choices and increased ‘screen time’ (watching TV, playing video games, and using a computer). It can be difficult to convince technologically savvy kids to put down their electronics to go play outside.

The most devastating issue overweight children are faced with is the social fallout they experience. Western culture places so much emphasis on beauty, even small children are aware when another falls short of our standards. Children especially can be brutally “honest” and cruel to their peers. Overweight kids are often teased, bullied, and left out of social activities. Those who eat for emotional comfort usually end up eating more to numb their pain. Childhood is supposed to be fun and care free, and all children have the right to live safe and comfortable lives. It’s a time to run, play, and laugh; not having to worry about being made fun of or bullied because of the way they look.  

Parents have the responsibility of providing their children with love, comfort, and protection from known sources of harm. Endangering a child’s physical and emotional health by feeding them to death is just as bad as starving them. It is up to parents and guardians to ensure proper nutrition and adequate exercise.

Perhaps as more charges of child abuse are pressed against parents of morbidly obese children (without an underlying medical condition), we’ll begin to accept responsibility for the health of our children and make the choice to change.

It’s nice to know that after nearly 6 years of blissful togetherness, we haven’t lost the ritual of the Friday night date. This week we decided to go out for dinner (Casey’s – I love their club sandwich!) and go to see the new film “The Hangover.” Having seen many advertisements for it lately, I was unsure what the result would be: sometimes a movie looks really great, until you realize all the funniest parts are in the trailers, and what’s left is not worth paying for. Thankfully, with “The Hangover,” this was NOT the case.

For those unfamiliar with the plot, let me fill you in: Four guys (3 groomsmen and the groom) head to Las Vegas for one last “wild night” before Doug  (Justin Bartha) ties the knot and, obstensibly, loses his freedom and ability to enjoy himself, permanently. However, the guys’ awesome night out turns into a night of mayhem, blackouts, missing teeth, hospital visits, exotic cats, a surprise marriage proposal, that mean Asian doctor from “Knocked Up,” and about 10,000 other strange things…not to mention that Doug, the groom, ends up AWOL and no one can remember where they last saw him. Will they find Doug and make it home in time to get him hitched to the ball & chain? You probably already know the answer to that, but it’s the journey that makes this film so ridiculously funny.

Let me be perfectly clear to this: From the very beginning to the very end of this film, there was only ONE moment where my reaction was, “wow, that’s alarmingly inappropriate” instead of laughing hysterically; go see the movie, you’ll see what part I’m talking about. That part aside, there is NOTHING not funny about this movie. The three groomsmen are absolutely priceless: super-hottie Bradley Cooper plays Phil – kind of slick, kind of cool, kind of (but not really) trying to talk Doug out of getting married and looking good the whole time. Ed Helms plays Stu – slightly spineless, dating the woman from hell, generally a good guy in need of a severe wake-up call, Vegas style. The crowning glory of the groomsmen? Alan Garner, played by Zach Galifianakis: kind of “different,” doesn’t seem to have much of a brain filter, and definitely steals this entire show. Watch for appearances by Mike Tyson, Ken Jeong, and Heather Graham – in fact, the only thing missing from this movie was an appearance by either Seth Rogan or Will Farrell, but I guess there is no such thing as a “perfect” film, right? Oh well.

Essentially, it comes down to this: If you enjoyed “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Old School,” “Superbad,” and/or “Knocked Up,” then this is the film for you. If you enjoy gratuitous nudity (dudes included), base humour and being entertained without having to think too much, then this is the film for you. (If you enjoy culture, high-class humour and seriousness, then you should probably find something else to watch, sorry.) Grab some friends, relax, and get ready to laugh from start to finish. This film is definitely going to be the sleeper hit of the summer – you heard it here first, my friends, watch and see.

Question: My husband is a physician and has several offices around the area. One is in a small town and has two women who work there. One is the office manager and the other is his medical assistant. I have known the office manager for years, but only in a “Christmas Party” capacity. She is an older woman and is very nice. The other is a woman in her mid twenties who was hired less than a year ago. I have only met her one time at this past year’s Christmas party. I just met her, we didn’t have a conversation or anything. I didn’t even remember her name.

A little while ago, I received an email with a facebook request. I asked him who it was and he said it was the younger office assistant. I don’t want to add her, because I don’t want her to know what goes on in my life. Is this rude? I thought it was very unprofessional. How should I handle this situation?

Answer: I’ll admit, I’m a Facebook junkie. Working from home allows me to spend way too much time on Facebook, checking out photos, responding to emails, taking quizzes and so forth. Facebook is a great way to stay caught up with friends and family (especially for me, with family in Europe and South America!) and reconnect with people from the old days. It’s also a great way to network professionally, all without leaving the comfort of your home office.

HOWEVER – some people have trouble remembering the boundaries of Facebook, and get a little add-happy from time to time. Facebook, for some, is a new phenomenon, and not all the etiquette has been worked out yet. To answer your question, YES it was quite unprofessional of your boss’ assistant to try to add you to her Facebook, especially since you don’t even know her. Is it possible she has some sort of crush your husband? Maybe she thinks by adding you she’ll get a glimpse into his personal life! It’s awkward and creepy, so good for you for not caving to the request, and clicking “ignore” instead. Her request crosses the professional boundary, and I hope your husband does not let this go silently; he should speak to her about the inappropriateness of her actions.

Regarding Facebook etiquette, here are a few things I wish people would remember:

• Don’t leave personal messages on the Facebook Wall: everyone sees the wall.
• Don’t add me simply because I met you one time at someone’s party/wedding/baby shower.
• Don’t add me simply because we have friends in common. It doesn’t mean I have any idea who you are!
• Parents: don’t add your adult children! And if you do, don’t leave embarrassing messages on their Walls. Bad enough you’re busy tagging humiliating photos from childhood.
• Don’t add your boss, coworkers, clients, or anyone else with whom you work, unless you are actually friends outside the cubicle farm.
• Don’t post photos of yourself that might be humiliating later: once they’re out in cyberspace, they’re there for good. Think before you click “upload.”